pour katie.

5 things i want to accomplish this school year:

1. stay drug free
2. become better friends with people that i vaguely know, now that ive realized i am capable of making friends that i have in common with no one else
3. continue trying to not eat so much junk food and continue trying to drink water
4. do good in my classes and try to get my mom to get off my back about stuff
5. become more well known

hate is a strong word, but i really really really dont like you

now that its over, i dont even know what i liked about you

wexlackxamity (10:27:57 PM):	if you continue telling people things they shouldnt be told about me, ESPECIALLY when half of it is exaggerated, i swear to god i will hire people to kick your ass. and believe me, ill have no problem finding someone because half the people i know would love to be the one to do it. just saying.
long2hot4u xD (10:28:27 PM):	and hlaf the ppl u kno couldnt do it
wexlackxamity (10:28:27 PM):	around call the cell
wexlackxamity (10:28:38 PM):	want to bet?
long2hot4u xD (10:28:45 PM):	yea
wexlackxamity (10:28:47 PM):	fine
long2hot4u xD (10:29:10 PM):	we had a lovely conversation...sry u missed it
wexlackxamity (10:29:20 PM):	doesnt matter that i wasnt there, he told me everything anyways
long2hot4u xD (10:29:34 PM):	good, me and dakota told him to
wexlackxamity (10:29:42 PM):	whatever
wexlackxamity (10:29:47 PM):	point is
wexlackxamity (10:30:09 PM):	i swear to god ill get someone to kick your ass if you dont stop. id do it myself but theyll do a better job
long2hot4u xD (10:31:07 PM):	hah, i dont even tlk to dillon, he just smoked weed with us...but if u want i can stab ur fukin freinds for free
long2hot4u xD (10:31:12 PM):	i fiote dirty
long2hot4u xD (10:31:52 PM):	and oh btw...u forgot i have friends to
long2hot4u xD (10:32:04 PM):	im not sendin ppl to kik ur ass3
wexlackxamity (10:32:17 PM):	yeah, and you have no reason to because i dont fucking talk about you
long2hot4u xD (10:32:19 PM):	ill send ppl to kik the asses of ur ppl
wexlackxamity (10:32:27 PM):	you dont know who they are, idiot
long2hot4u xD (10:32:43 PM):	cuz i wont find out thru the grape vine that is our school?
long2hot4u xD (10:32:44 PM):	cmon
long2hot4u xD (10:32:48 PM):	be serious
wexlackxamity (10:32:50 PM):	theyre older
long2hot4u xD (10:33:11 PM):	big fukin deal so r half my fukin friends
wexlackxamity (10:33:11 PM):	you dont have as many friends as you think you do
long2hot4u xD (10:33:19 PM):	i have more then u kno
wexlackxamity (10:33:33 PM):	point is, why the hell do you feel the need to talk about me?
long2hot4u xD (10:33:42 PM):	dakota brought it up
wexlackxamity (10:33:45 PM):	cause, um, i dont talk about you even though i have reason to
wexlackxamity (10:33:48 PM):	youve done it before
long2hot4u xD (10:33:49 PM):	then dillon asked me
wexlackxamity (10:34:08 PM):	and you told him stuff that wasnt true
long2hot4u xD (10:34:16 PM):	dakota told dillon somethin idk if i should say, and dillon asked me nout it
wexlackxamity (10:34:20 PM):	you exaggerated so fucking much and made me sound like a whore
long2hot4u xD (10:34:32 PM):	i only told him lil stuff
wexlackxamity (10:34:37 PM):	no, you didnt
long2hot4u xD (10:34:42 PM):	yea...i did
wexlackxamity (10:34:48 PM):	he told me what you told him
wexlackxamity (10:34:55 PM):	did you happen to tell him about how you almost raped me?
long2hot4u xD (10:34:57 PM):	and that was
long2hot4u xD (10:35:10 PM):	xD
long2hot4u xD (10:35:14 PM):	i remember that
long2hot4u xD (10:35:20 PM):	i stopped tho
wexlackxamity (10:35:21 PM):	yeah. i should kill you for that
wexlackxamity (10:35:24 PM):	doesnt matter
long2hot4u xD (10:35:24 PM):	i get credit there
wexlackxamity (10:35:28 PM):	no, you dont
long2hot4u xD (10:35:32 PM):	yea i do
wexlackxamity (10:35:34 PM):	because you tried to do it in the first place
wexlackxamity (10:35:52 PM):	i got DEPRESSED because of that
long2hot4u xD (10:35:58 PM):	and when u said no...i...yes..i stopped
wexlackxamity (10:36:00 PM):	like, clinically depressed
long2hot4u xD (10:36:10 PM):	thats sounds personal
wexlackxamity (10:36:21 PM):	so is the stuff you tell people, so does it really matter
long2hot4u xD (10:36:39 PM):	it does when im threatened
wexlackxamity (10:36:49 PM):	get over it
long2hot4u xD (10:36:54 PM):	u 1st
wexlackxamity (10:37:12 PM):	kind of hard to when you keep bringing it up and telling people stuff
long2hot4u xD (10:37:26 PM):	dude i alreddy fukin told u dakota brang it up
wexlackxamity (10:37:35 PM):	YOU WENT WITH IT
long2hot4u xD (10:37:40 PM):	I WAS HIGH
wexlackxamity (10:37:44 PM):	SO WHAT?
wexlackxamity (10:37:54 PM):	im not stupid, when youre high you can function
long2hot4u xD (10:37:57 PM):	so thats an excuse in itself
wexlackxamity (10:38:01 PM):	its a bad one
long2hot4u xD (10:38:17 PM):	uve nvr fukin been high, u have no idea
wexlackxamity (10:38:40 PM):	half my freinds do it when i hang out with them
long2hot4u xD (10:38:47 PM):	u can barelymove let alone function
wexlackxamity (10:38:49 PM):	i dont hate drugs, i hated drugs mixed with YOU
wexlackxamity (10:38:56 PM):	you can function. they do it often.
long2hot4u xD (10:39:07 PM):	yea, that seems to be an ongoiong prblm
wexlackxamity (10:39:22 PM):	whats an ongoing problem?
long2hot4u xD (10:39:31 PM):	drugs and me
wexlackxamity (10:39:37 PM):	ha.
long2hot4u xD (10:40:43 PM):	anyway, i dont feel like tlkin to u or dillon anymore...i nvr relly tlk to him and ur just angry
wexlackxamity (10:42:04 PM):	yeah, well its a good thing u dont feel like talking to him because he wishes youd get shot
wexlackxamity (10:42:17 PM):	and ive gotta say, its something we have in common because youre a complete dick
long2hot4u xD (10:42:24 PM):	i try
wexlackxamity (10:42:31 PM):	you succeed.
long2hot4u xD (10:42:40 PM):	i dont have to try, its natural
wexlackxamity (10:42:43 PM):	its about the only thing youre good at
long2hot4u xD (10:43:05 PM):	everyones got something
long2hot4u xD (10:43:43 PM):	mines just funner
wexlackxamity (10:43:57 PM):	whatever.
wexlackxamity (10:43:59 PM):	im serious, though.
long2hot4u xD (10:44:18 PM):	i am to, im not gonna say shit anymore,not worth it
wexlackxamity (10:44:28 PM):	and i dont feel like talking to you any more than i did when i first imed you, so you can stop responding now.

stop asking;

keep dancing

fast bike riding chapstick ipods broken speaker systems lips bed music out of xboxes sleep lips sleep music apple jacks and frosted flakes dogs motorcycle explanations computer baby toys sleep lips chapstick bikes by katie i mean dillon no babysitting.


today kicked ass.

im more than a bird

im more than a plane

songs that can make me cry edit;
the freshman (the verve pipe) and superman (five for fighting)

why do i keep saying things i dont mean? that last post we all know was me just saying stuff. half of it i didnt mean. what the fuck.


how about we just dont believe anything that comes out of my mouth.

i want someone provocative and talkative

but its so hard when you're shallow as a shower

seriously. jesus. if i had any other options you really wouldnt last. probably wont anyways. i mean, yeah, cool to hang out with, but whatever. could you be anymore judgemental about shit? i think ive just remembered that i dont really like being in a relationship. lmao. how could i forget something like that?

cant wait for school oddly enough, i miss all my guy friends...if they still exist. okay, i miss HAVING guy friends. there we go.

my mayday parade bag should be here any day now. wheeeeeeee. that is, if it comes. i hope it does. rargh.

katie i am glad we had that really really long conversation the other day because i feel like walls that had been built between us have like, come down, which is awesome. I WANT THOSE AWESOME GHOST PICTURES, MISSY.

panic at the disco sounds like fall out boy. at least in slow songs. the first time i heard northern downpour i thought it was fall out boy till i heard the chorus.

in case youre wondering, im posting because no one else did. i need something to read. hehehe.

i wanna hang out with tam today. i think im going to. if her moms not in a bad mood. who knows. i care.

i just realized i have a million bajillion pictures of me but i dont like like 95% of them. im a very not photogenic person.

i wish i could put movies on my ipod. i dont have a converter.

i miss my alexandra.

seriously, isnt it funny how im just using you?

i think you need to read this, andrea.

"chelsea cole " (11:01:26 PM): don't assume.

wexlackxamity (11:01:33 PM): hmm

wexlackxamity (11:01:34 PM): then idk

wexlackxamity (11:01:36 PM): but

wexlackxamity (11:01:46 PM): has she always disliked me and jsut refused to tell me ?

"chelsea cole " (11:03:14 PM): you need to stop assuming things, liz.

wexlackxamity (11:03:41 PM): can you explain that?

wexlackxamity (11:03:42 PM): like

wexlackxamity (11:03:53 PM): im 100% sure that was directed at me

"chelsea cole " (11:03:57 PM): you assume that they hate you.

wexlackxamity (11:04:08 PM): not they

wexlackxamity (11:04:11 PM): andrea

wexlackxamity (11:04:12 PM): not

wexlackxamity (11:04:14 PM): not hate me

wexlackxamity (11:04:15 PM): just

wexlackxamity (11:04:28 PM): how can you say you hope i get raped???

"chelsea cole " (11:04:47 PM): andrea is mad because you were rude to her on the phone last night/this morning.

wexlackxamity (11:05:00 PM): what?

wexlackxamity (11:05:03 PM): oh god

wexlackxamity (11:05:04 PM): how?

"chelsea cole " (11:05:09 PM): she told you to come home.

"chelsea cole " (11:05:09 PM): twice.

"chelsea cole " (11:05:19 PM): you're at andrea's, you follow her rules.

wexlackxamity (11:05:55 PM): i didnt know she actually cared, i thought she was asking me if i was going to or not! and i kept telling him i thought we should go and he took a while because we got stopped

wexlackxamity (11:06:11 PM): the second time she called i was on the way out of the house

wexlackxamity (11:06:32 PM): why cant she tell me this?

wexlackxamity (11:06:33 PM): i mean

wexlackxamity (11:06:35 PM): im not psychic

wexlackxamity (11:06:49 PM): she can tell me why shes mad, instead of trashing me on a public blog

"chelsea cole " (11:07:07 PM): she was being mean to you on the phone.

"chelsea cole " (11:07:09 PM): you just didn't notice.

wexlackxamity (11:07:15 PM): what did she say

wexlackxamity (11:07:16 PM): ?

"chelsea cole " (11:07:19 PM): hold on.

wexlackxamity (11:07:23 PM): okay

"chelsea cole " (11:09:55 PM): well.

"chelsea cole " (11:10:04 PM): she was like "it does not take you 20 minutes to walk from here to here."

wexlackxamity (11:10:09 PM): the only reason i didnt come home right away is because she didnt say she wanted me to, it was a miscommunication i guess. i took it the wrong way, obviously, and i didnt mean to piss her off or anything. and from what i remember from the phone conversation, i didnt notice because she talks to me like that all the time. so i suppose if thats what andrea being mean to me is, then shes mean to me quite often.

wexlackxamity (11:10:18 PM): what i got from it was

wexlackxamity (11:10:36 PM): are you coming home soon or are you staying out? not, you need to get home

"chelsea cole " (11:11:25 PM): not what she said.

wexlackxamity (11:11:32 PM): what DID she say then?

"chelsea cole " (11:11:39 PM): "where are you?"

"chelsea cole " (11:11:45 PM): "it's almost curfew."

"chelsea cole " (11:11:50 PM): "you need to get home soon."

"chelsea cole " (11:11:57 PM): "twenty minutes? okay."

"chelsea cole " (11:12:00 PM): second call.

wexlackxamity (11:12:01 PM): i did tell him i wanted to be back before curfew

"chelsea cole " (11:12:08 PM): "it's been twenty minutes."

"chelsea cole " (11:12:17 PM): "i don't care, get back now."

"chelsea cole " (11:12:26 PM): "it does not take this long to walk back!"

wexlackxamity (11:12:27 PM): i think i didnt have the phone to my ear because i didnt hear that

wexlackxamity (11:12:35 PM): i think dillon had the phone

wexlackxamity (11:13:04 PM): because if id heard that i wouldnt have done it the way i did

"chelsea cole " (11:13:22 PM): andrea thinks that you're going to get hurt with him.

wexlackxamity (11:13:25 PM): i know

wexlackxamity (11:13:34 PM): and from what i understand, she hopes i do

wexlackxamity (11:13:37 PM): what shes not getting though

wexlackxamity (11:13:46 PM): is that i have no emotional attachment to him

"chelsea cole " (11:13:55 PM): except.

wexlackxamity (11:13:59 PM): except?

"chelsea cole " (11:14:39 PM): why were you blushing when you two kissed?

"chelsea cole " (11:14:43 PM): why were you leaning on him?

wexlackxamity (11:14:49 PM): because he kissed me in front of all my friends!

"chelsea cole " (11:14:50 PM): why were you listening to music?

wexlackxamity (11:14:57 PM): because he was there, its a fling

wexlackxamity (11:15:02 PM): im not taking it seriously

wexlackxamity (11:15:05 PM): but its nice to be liked

wexlackxamity (11:15:21 PM): hes the first person since tom (i dont count john) to pay any attention to me

"chelsea cole " (11:15:36 PM): so you're trying to be the player when you're going to be played.

"chelsea cole " (11:15:40 PM): andrea's telling you to get out now.

wexlackxamity (11:15:40 PM): im not going to take it anywhere, its not like im going to have sex with him

"chelsea cole " (11:15:44 PM): um hi.

wexlackxamity (11:15:45 PM): hmm

"chelsea cole " (11:15:47 PM): um.

"chelsea cole " (11:15:48 PM): seriously.

wexlackxamity (11:15:49 PM): what?

"chelsea cole " (11:15:51 PM): it's dylan.

"chelsea cole " (11:15:54 PM): *dillon.

wexlackxamity (11:16:24 PM): i dont really know what to say

"chelsea cole " (11:16:40 PM): andrea is trying to protect you

"chelsea cole " (11:16:49 PM): she doesn't want you to get hurt.

"chelsea cole " (11:16:54 PM): by you not following her advice

"chelsea cole " (11:16:58 PM): it is a slap in the face.

"chelsea cole " (11:17:02 PM): you're telling her that she doesn't know

"chelsea cole " (11:17:05 PM): it's different

"chelsea cole " (11:17:08 PM): that it's just a fling

"chelsea cole " (11:17:12 PM): that it's for your enjoyment.

"chelsea cole " (11:17:16 PM): thing is.

"chelsea cole " (11:17:18 PM): it's not.

"chelsea cole " (11:17:20 PM): it's for him.

"chelsea cole " (11:17:33 PM): he wants something easy. he looked at you and pegged you for what you're not.

"chelsea cole " (11:17:43 PM): you were wearing shorts.

"chelsea cole " (11:17:44 PM): you're pretty.

"chelsea cole " (11:17:46 PM): skinny.

"chelsea cole " (11:17:51 PM): single.

"chelsea cole " (11:18:07 PM): you're going to get hurt in some way, she knows it, she tries to tell you, to help you, and you pretty much ignored her.

"chelsea cole " (11:18:14 PM): she cares for you and she shows it through protection and guidance.

"chelsea cole " (11:18:18 PM): i know what is right and what is wrong.

"chelsea cole " (11:18:28 PM): i won't say anything unless you people ask me.

"chelsea cole " (11:18:33 PM): i won't tell you what to do.

wexlackxamity (11:18:33 PM): i know, i know...youre right.

"chelsea cole " (11:18:43 PM): it's your life.

"chelsea cole " (11:18:45 PM): you figure it out.

wexlackxamity (11:18:52 PM): i hate this. i know im not doing the smartest thing

wexlackxamity (11:18:56 PM): shes right.

wexlackxamity (11:18:59 PM): its just really hard

wexlackxamity (11:19:17 PM): because its like im walking away from being...i dont know, cared for

wexlackxamity (11:19:21 PM): even though i know

wexlackxamity (11:19:26 PM): its not like that at all

wexlackxamity (11:19:27 PM): ldksjfdlskfjdsf

"chelsea cole " (11:19:32 PM): i did that to a boy.

"chelsea cole " (11:19:33 PM): twice.

wexlackxamity (11:19:45 PM): did what

wexlackxamity (11:19:45 PM): ?

"chelsea cole " (11:19:54 PM): wanted someone to tell me that they love me and care for me.

"chelsea cole " (11:20:00 PM): needed to have someone there because i was hurting.

wexlackxamity (11:20:13 PM): the thing is, i get the feeling andrea doesnt like me way too often for me to feel like she DOES care for me.

wexlackxamity (11:20:24 PM): because shes right, i dont belong

"chelsea cole " (11:20:50 PM): you are still figuring out who you are.

"chelsea cole " (11:20:53 PM): andrea has figured herself out.

"chelsea cole " (11:21:06 PM): so has katie.

"chelsea cole " (11:21:09 PM): i can pretend that i have.

wexlackxamity (11:21:59 PM): by "figured themselves out" what do you mean? because the only change ive seen lately in katie is the drug thing.

wexlackxamity (11:23:17 PM): i dont know. i feel like im trying to hold on to something thats not there anymore, because the truth is they dont treat me like a treasured friend or anything. they treat me like a child every time i say something that if anyone else said would be taken differently. i havent felt like they actually give a shit if they stay friends with me lately, like, at ALL. which, yeah, hurts/

wexlackxamity (11:25:47 PM): and of course, theres the whole every time im with them at the same time i am completely shut out and ignored

wexlackxamity (11:25:59 PM): which is why i left this afternoon, although today it was probably fully on purpose

"chelsea cole " (11:29:06 PM): they have themselves pegged for who they are and who they want to be.

"chelsea cole " (11:29:08 PM): they're not changing.

wexlackxamity (11:29:44 PM): so because im still figuring out who i want to be, i get treated like a child and excluded?

"chelsea cole " (11:30:08 PM): it's not that you're not a set personality.

"chelsea cole " (11:30:20 PM): it's the fact that you seem unwilling to accept the advice of others.

wexlackxamity (11:30:40 PM): accepting advice and following it are two completely different things

wexlackxamity (11:30:48 PM): and i do intend on following her advice, i really do

wexlackxamity (11:31:02 PM): it was just...today, i NEEDED that

"chelsea cole " (11:31:05 PM): good intentions and bad reflexes, right?

wexlackxamity (11:31:09 PM): yeah/

"chelsea cole " (11:31:25 PM): then i'm okay with what you're doing.

wexlackxamity (11:31:31 PM): thank you.

"chelsea cole " (11:31:56 PM): i would recommend telling andrea that you need someone right now, and he was the first to pop up.

"chelsea cole " (11:32:00 PM): that's how matt was for me.

"chelsea cole " (11:32:04 PM): it's why i'm all SDFL:KDSJ ALEX.

"chelsea cole " (11:32:08 PM): which i'm sure it gets annoying.

wexlackxamity (11:32:35 PM): thats exactly what it was

wexlackxamity (11:32:50 PM): ive been lonely since i got completely ditched in the beginning of july

wexlackxamity (11:32:51 PM): i mean

wexlackxamity (11:33:02 PM): i havent even had any one there to support me friendship wise

wexlackxamity (11:33:07 PM): and then bam, guy

wexlackxamity (11:33:22 PM): i just....i guess i needed something to balance myself on

"chelsea cole " (11:33:35 PM): yes.

"chelsea cole " (11:33:40 PM): keep him until you're balanced.

"chelsea cole " (11:33:53 PM): but don't let him get anything past a friend with benefits.

"chelsea cole " (11:33:56 PM): sounds bad.

"chelsea cole " (11:33:58 PM): trust me.

wexlackxamity (11:34:00 PM): i dont want to let him get past that

"chelsea cole " (11:34:07 PM): good intentions.

"chelsea cole " (11:34:10 PM): bad reflexes.

"chelsea cole " (11:34:34 PM): if he tries to hurt you i hurt him, though.

"chelsea cole " (11:34:38 PM): so.

wexlackxamity (11:34:40 PM): haha

wexlackxamity (11:34:46 PM): thats okay.