je t'adore toujours

I wanted to write this poem for you
Cause I don't know what else to do
But my lack of ability's showing through
And I'm too frustrated with it to start over new

I was entranced with you from the start
For you I broke somebody's heart
It must have made me seem like a tart
But I mean...at least I did my part

I know lately I've been a bitch
Made you feel like crawling into a ditch
Our togetherness has encountered a glitch
Like it's been cursed by a witch

But I don't want you to feel slapped in the face
The truth is, I really just need some space
Don't want you to disappear from my life without a trace
But the time we spend together doesn't need to be a race

Seeing someone all day, every day, every week
You get tired of them and act like a freak
It'd be great if you'd forgive this and turn the other cheek
And let this pattern we have develop a leak

By a leak I mean some leniency
Every now and then, take a break from me
Because I need some spontaneity
And wish you would be exciting to see

All day every day leaves no room for fun
And there's no incentive, nothing to be won
From seeing you...it;'s mundane, it makes me run
But baby, work with me here, instead of just being done

I want you to just...live your own life
I'm just your girlfriend, not your wife
Don't want this to make you pick up a knife
And I hope it doesn't turn to strife

Because though this sounds horrid, I love you still
But if we go the way we are our chances will be like, nil
I want to save it before we both get our fill
I will try to save it....for you, I will.

it's going to get harder and it's going to burn brighter

and it's going to feel tougher each and every day so let me say that i love you

i glad we managed to save it. i felt less irritated as soon as we talked. idk. i think its just that we cant be attached 24/7 or ill wanna kill you, you know?

♥

It seems as though we've forgotten the way we move

Can we save ourselves from the ones we're becoming?

its weird. when i see him in school, the relationship is okay, as long as hes not being weird. its weird, i cant remember him ever being completely insane around me before like a month ago. we used to talk a lot and it was cool, but lately its like we dont really have conversations. i start to wonder why im still in it, but then well hang out outside of school and ill start wondering why i was doubting it in the first place. i think what it is is that on the phone, we dont really have good conversations anymore, and in school there isnt time for it. so out of school, its like it used to be. i dont have any idea. but i also havent really felt like talking when we're on the phone. i can sit there for 10 minutes straight without saying a word.

i need spontaneity is what it is. i need to not know whats going to happen tomorrow. i need it to be fun, and to do things that make me laugh, and things i can look forward to with him. its gotten monotone. i still like him, i think, but i get so bored with relationships after a while.



how can i fix it?

if looks could kill id be the one

that takes my world and makes me numb

I'm nothing, without you i cant breathe
(I can't breathe)
And as the sunlight burns the sky
I see through my obsessive eyes
I'm nothing, without you i cant see

i dont really know what i want to talk about. i havent really blogged in a long time, because i dont have time lately and nothing important to say. my feelings change day to day about the situations im in, but lately ive been pretty much in agreement with myself that a lot of the people i became friends with last year have split from me. ive split from them. we dont have lunch in common anymore, and i still talk to a few but we dont hang out. dakotas a dick. theres some girls they hang out with and ive recently talked to them (that lil short one that hangs with dakota and satans ex..bf...)and realized that wow, they are bitches. so im glad i dont hang out with those people.

i dont hate it when people talk about drugs in general, but i hate it when they do it in a way thats so obviously for show to make them seem cool, even if theyre doing it subconsciously. ditto with partying.

i like joy shes fun to talk to, even though shes the embodiment of what i just described above.

i have no idea what bobby bosin thinks of me, but ive talked to him a tiny little bit this year.

why do i seem to be around more juniors this year than sophomores? it doesnt even fucking matter. this post doesnt matter. you can stop reading it cause its pointless.

i didnt get that dress.

ive been getting along better with my family members lately. except the two year old, cause shes been a brat. isnt that weird?





i want to go to clubbing.