stop asking;

keep dancing

fast bike riding chapstick ipods broken speaker systems lips bed music out of xboxes sleep lips sleep music apple jacks and frosted flakes dogs motorcycle explanations computer baby toys sleep lips chapstick bikes by katie i mean dillon no babysitting.


today kicked ass.

im more than a bird

im more than a plane

songs that can make me cry edit;
the freshman (the verve pipe) and superman (five for fighting)

why do i keep saying things i dont mean? that last post we all know was me just saying stuff. half of it i didnt mean. what the fuck.


how about we just dont believe anything that comes out of my mouth.

i want someone provocative and talkative

but its so hard when you're shallow as a shower

seriously. jesus. if i had any other options you really wouldnt last. probably wont anyways. i mean, yeah, cool to hang out with, but whatever. could you be anymore judgemental about shit? i think ive just remembered that i dont really like being in a relationship. lmao. how could i forget something like that?

cant wait for school oddly enough, i miss all my guy friends...if they still exist. okay, i miss HAVING guy friends. there we go.

my mayday parade bag should be here any day now. wheeeeeeee. that is, if it comes. i hope it does. rargh.

katie i am glad we had that really really long conversation the other day because i feel like walls that had been built between us have like, come down, which is awesome. I WANT THOSE AWESOME GHOST PICTURES, MISSY.

panic at the disco sounds like fall out boy. at least in slow songs. the first time i heard northern downpour i thought it was fall out boy till i heard the chorus.

in case youre wondering, im posting because no one else did. i need something to read. hehehe.

i wanna hang out with tam today. i think im going to. if her moms not in a bad mood. who knows. i care.

i just realized i have a million bajillion pictures of me but i dont like like 95% of them. im a very not photogenic person.

i wish i could put movies on my ipod. i dont have a converter.

i miss my alexandra.

seriously, isnt it funny how im just using you?

i think you need to read this, andrea.

"chelsea cole " (11:01:26 PM): don't assume.

wexlackxamity (11:01:33 PM): hmm

wexlackxamity (11:01:34 PM): then idk

wexlackxamity (11:01:36 PM): but

wexlackxamity (11:01:46 PM): has she always disliked me and jsut refused to tell me ?

"chelsea cole " (11:03:14 PM): you need to stop assuming things, liz.

wexlackxamity (11:03:41 PM): can you explain that?

wexlackxamity (11:03:42 PM): like

wexlackxamity (11:03:53 PM): im 100% sure that was directed at me

"chelsea cole " (11:03:57 PM): you assume that they hate you.

wexlackxamity (11:04:08 PM): not they

wexlackxamity (11:04:11 PM): andrea

wexlackxamity (11:04:12 PM): not

wexlackxamity (11:04:14 PM): not hate me

wexlackxamity (11:04:15 PM): just

wexlackxamity (11:04:28 PM): how can you say you hope i get raped???

"chelsea cole " (11:04:47 PM): andrea is mad because you were rude to her on the phone last night/this morning.

wexlackxamity (11:05:00 PM): what?

wexlackxamity (11:05:03 PM): oh god

wexlackxamity (11:05:04 PM): how?

"chelsea cole " (11:05:09 PM): she told you to come home.

"chelsea cole " (11:05:09 PM): twice.

"chelsea cole " (11:05:19 PM): you're at andrea's, you follow her rules.

wexlackxamity (11:05:55 PM): i didnt know she actually cared, i thought she was asking me if i was going to or not! and i kept telling him i thought we should go and he took a while because we got stopped

wexlackxamity (11:06:11 PM): the second time she called i was on the way out of the house

wexlackxamity (11:06:32 PM): why cant she tell me this?

wexlackxamity (11:06:33 PM): i mean

wexlackxamity (11:06:35 PM): im not psychic

wexlackxamity (11:06:49 PM): she can tell me why shes mad, instead of trashing me on a public blog

"chelsea cole " (11:07:07 PM): she was being mean to you on the phone.

"chelsea cole " (11:07:09 PM): you just didn't notice.

wexlackxamity (11:07:15 PM): what did she say

wexlackxamity (11:07:16 PM): ?

"chelsea cole " (11:07:19 PM): hold on.

wexlackxamity (11:07:23 PM): okay

"chelsea cole " (11:09:55 PM): well.

"chelsea cole " (11:10:04 PM): she was like "it does not take you 20 minutes to walk from here to here."

wexlackxamity (11:10:09 PM): the only reason i didnt come home right away is because she didnt say she wanted me to, it was a miscommunication i guess. i took it the wrong way, obviously, and i didnt mean to piss her off or anything. and from what i remember from the phone conversation, i didnt notice because she talks to me like that all the time. so i suppose if thats what andrea being mean to me is, then shes mean to me quite often.

wexlackxamity (11:10:18 PM): what i got from it was

wexlackxamity (11:10:36 PM): are you coming home soon or are you staying out? not, you need to get home

"chelsea cole " (11:11:25 PM): not what she said.

wexlackxamity (11:11:32 PM): what DID she say then?

"chelsea cole " (11:11:39 PM): "where are you?"

"chelsea cole " (11:11:45 PM): "it's almost curfew."

"chelsea cole " (11:11:50 PM): "you need to get home soon."

"chelsea cole " (11:11:57 PM): "twenty minutes? okay."

"chelsea cole " (11:12:00 PM): second call.

wexlackxamity (11:12:01 PM): i did tell him i wanted to be back before curfew

"chelsea cole " (11:12:08 PM): "it's been twenty minutes."

"chelsea cole " (11:12:17 PM): "i don't care, get back now."

"chelsea cole " (11:12:26 PM): "it does not take this long to walk back!"

wexlackxamity (11:12:27 PM): i think i didnt have the phone to my ear because i didnt hear that

wexlackxamity (11:12:35 PM): i think dillon had the phone

wexlackxamity (11:13:04 PM): because if id heard that i wouldnt have done it the way i did

"chelsea cole " (11:13:22 PM): andrea thinks that you're going to get hurt with him.

wexlackxamity (11:13:25 PM): i know

wexlackxamity (11:13:34 PM): and from what i understand, she hopes i do

wexlackxamity (11:13:37 PM): what shes not getting though

wexlackxamity (11:13:46 PM): is that i have no emotional attachment to him

"chelsea cole " (11:13:55 PM): except.

wexlackxamity (11:13:59 PM): except?

"chelsea cole " (11:14:39 PM): why were you blushing when you two kissed?

"chelsea cole " (11:14:43 PM): why were you leaning on him?

wexlackxamity (11:14:49 PM): because he kissed me in front of all my friends!

"chelsea cole " (11:14:50 PM): why were you listening to music?

wexlackxamity (11:14:57 PM): because he was there, its a fling

wexlackxamity (11:15:02 PM): im not taking it seriously

wexlackxamity (11:15:05 PM): but its nice to be liked

wexlackxamity (11:15:21 PM): hes the first person since tom (i dont count john) to pay any attention to me

"chelsea cole " (11:15:36 PM): so you're trying to be the player when you're going to be played.

"chelsea cole " (11:15:40 PM): andrea's telling you to get out now.

wexlackxamity (11:15:40 PM): im not going to take it anywhere, its not like im going to have sex with him

"chelsea cole " (11:15:44 PM): um hi.

wexlackxamity (11:15:45 PM): hmm

"chelsea cole " (11:15:47 PM): um.

"chelsea cole " (11:15:48 PM): seriously.

wexlackxamity (11:15:49 PM): what?

"chelsea cole " (11:15:51 PM): it's dylan.

"chelsea cole " (11:15:54 PM): *dillon.

wexlackxamity (11:16:24 PM): i dont really know what to say

"chelsea cole " (11:16:40 PM): andrea is trying to protect you

"chelsea cole " (11:16:49 PM): she doesn't want you to get hurt.

"chelsea cole " (11:16:54 PM): by you not following her advice

"chelsea cole " (11:16:58 PM): it is a slap in the face.

"chelsea cole " (11:17:02 PM): you're telling her that she doesn't know

"chelsea cole " (11:17:05 PM): it's different

"chelsea cole " (11:17:08 PM): that it's just a fling

"chelsea cole " (11:17:12 PM): that it's for your enjoyment.

"chelsea cole " (11:17:16 PM): thing is.

"chelsea cole " (11:17:18 PM): it's not.

"chelsea cole " (11:17:20 PM): it's for him.

"chelsea cole " (11:17:33 PM): he wants something easy. he looked at you and pegged you for what you're not.

"chelsea cole " (11:17:43 PM): you were wearing shorts.

"chelsea cole " (11:17:44 PM): you're pretty.

"chelsea cole " (11:17:46 PM): skinny.

"chelsea cole " (11:17:51 PM): single.

"chelsea cole " (11:18:07 PM): you're going to get hurt in some way, she knows it, she tries to tell you, to help you, and you pretty much ignored her.

"chelsea cole " (11:18:14 PM): she cares for you and she shows it through protection and guidance.

"chelsea cole " (11:18:18 PM): i know what is right and what is wrong.

"chelsea cole " (11:18:28 PM): i won't say anything unless you people ask me.

"chelsea cole " (11:18:33 PM): i won't tell you what to do.

wexlackxamity (11:18:33 PM): i know, i know...youre right.

"chelsea cole " (11:18:43 PM): it's your life.

"chelsea cole " (11:18:45 PM): you figure it out.

wexlackxamity (11:18:52 PM): i hate this. i know im not doing the smartest thing

wexlackxamity (11:18:56 PM): shes right.

wexlackxamity (11:18:59 PM): its just really hard

wexlackxamity (11:19:17 PM): because its like im walking away from being...i dont know, cared for

wexlackxamity (11:19:21 PM): even though i know

wexlackxamity (11:19:26 PM): its not like that at all

wexlackxamity (11:19:27 PM): ldksjfdlskfjdsf

"chelsea cole " (11:19:32 PM): i did that to a boy.

"chelsea cole " (11:19:33 PM): twice.

wexlackxamity (11:19:45 PM): did what

wexlackxamity (11:19:45 PM): ?

"chelsea cole " (11:19:54 PM): wanted someone to tell me that they love me and care for me.

"chelsea cole " (11:20:00 PM): needed to have someone there because i was hurting.

wexlackxamity (11:20:13 PM): the thing is, i get the feeling andrea doesnt like me way too often for me to feel like she DOES care for me.

wexlackxamity (11:20:24 PM): because shes right, i dont belong

"chelsea cole " (11:20:50 PM): you are still figuring out who you are.

"chelsea cole " (11:20:53 PM): andrea has figured herself out.

"chelsea cole " (11:21:06 PM): so has katie.

"chelsea cole " (11:21:09 PM): i can pretend that i have.

wexlackxamity (11:21:59 PM): by "figured themselves out" what do you mean? because the only change ive seen lately in katie is the drug thing.

wexlackxamity (11:23:17 PM): i dont know. i feel like im trying to hold on to something thats not there anymore, because the truth is they dont treat me like a treasured friend or anything. they treat me like a child every time i say something that if anyone else said would be taken differently. i havent felt like they actually give a shit if they stay friends with me lately, like, at ALL. which, yeah, hurts/

wexlackxamity (11:25:47 PM): and of course, theres the whole every time im with them at the same time i am completely shut out and ignored

wexlackxamity (11:25:59 PM): which is why i left this afternoon, although today it was probably fully on purpose

"chelsea cole " (11:29:06 PM): they have themselves pegged for who they are and who they want to be.

"chelsea cole " (11:29:08 PM): they're not changing.

wexlackxamity (11:29:44 PM): so because im still figuring out who i want to be, i get treated like a child and excluded?

"chelsea cole " (11:30:08 PM): it's not that you're not a set personality.

"chelsea cole " (11:30:20 PM): it's the fact that you seem unwilling to accept the advice of others.

wexlackxamity (11:30:40 PM): accepting advice and following it are two completely different things

wexlackxamity (11:30:48 PM): and i do intend on following her advice, i really do

wexlackxamity (11:31:02 PM): it was just...today, i NEEDED that

"chelsea cole " (11:31:05 PM): good intentions and bad reflexes, right?

wexlackxamity (11:31:09 PM): yeah/

"chelsea cole " (11:31:25 PM): then i'm okay with what you're doing.

wexlackxamity (11:31:31 PM): thank you.

"chelsea cole " (11:31:56 PM): i would recommend telling andrea that you need someone right now, and he was the first to pop up.

"chelsea cole " (11:32:00 PM): that's how matt was for me.

"chelsea cole " (11:32:04 PM): it's why i'm all SDFL:KDSJ ALEX.

"chelsea cole " (11:32:08 PM): which i'm sure it gets annoying.

wexlackxamity (11:32:35 PM): thats exactly what it was

wexlackxamity (11:32:50 PM): ive been lonely since i got completely ditched in the beginning of july

wexlackxamity (11:32:51 PM): i mean

wexlackxamity (11:33:02 PM): i havent even had any one there to support me friendship wise

wexlackxamity (11:33:07 PM): and then bam, guy

wexlackxamity (11:33:22 PM): i just....i guess i needed something to balance myself on

"chelsea cole " (11:33:35 PM): yes.

"chelsea cole " (11:33:40 PM): keep him until you're balanced.

"chelsea cole " (11:33:53 PM): but don't let him get anything past a friend with benefits.

"chelsea cole " (11:33:56 PM): sounds bad.

"chelsea cole " (11:33:58 PM): trust me.

wexlackxamity (11:34:00 PM): i dont want to let him get past that

"chelsea cole " (11:34:07 PM): good intentions.

"chelsea cole " (11:34:10 PM): bad reflexes.

"chelsea cole " (11:34:34 PM): if he tries to hurt you i hurt him, though.

"chelsea cole " (11:34:38 PM): so.

wexlackxamity (11:34:40 PM): haha

wexlackxamity (11:34:46 PM): thats okay.