we fight for pride
ugh. i am so pissed ish right now. not neccessarily angry, just...frustrated. tom had lied to me on thursday, which i sort of knew and carl confirmed. and i cannot STAND being lied to. i dont care if i dont like the truth, i want to hear it anyways. so when i confronted him, he got angry at ME, he said. "im just gonna hang up if ur gonna be mad at me." that is so not fair. i think i have a right to be angry when im lied to. i think i deserve an explanation or at least, the very least, an apology. i dont know.
i dont like having to act like a fucking babysitter sometimes. like im his mother....do your hw. stop skipping. stop smoking. i dont want to lay down rules!! i like feeling in charge, i do not want to feel like a dictator. andrea told me about how she said she needs to skip again sometime soon, and she said when she mentioned it tom said something about maybe coming with her. WTF he promised me he wouldnt, said he didnt want to anymore cuz its not worth it. yeah its not worth it, is he just lying about knowing that too though? =\\\
i dont like feeling like i cant trust him. i want to know i can trust him to keep his word, but i havent really had that feeling since that time when he broke his promise, skipped with avery, and got caught. dlkfjf and he keeps not calling me when he says he will. kldsjflkdffffffffffff
i also think kate likes him again (still?). it doesnt really bug me if she does, but is she going to try and steal him away from me? it worries me. i know he loves me, but if i get him angry enough would he do something with kate for revenge? shes not stupid, if she wants to get him away from me she could proobablyy manage it sooner or later.
i just need to know hes not going to do anything to hurt me. words dont really say that. i dont know what will.
2 comments:
well he said he wanted to skip like... the day after i skipped way back when. it was months ago near the beginning of the school year. don't worry about it. i wouldn't ask him to go now because i know how much it means to you that he keeps his promises.
I hope he keeps his promise, but I don't know if you can totally expect him to. I mean, maybe you feel like his mother because you're acting a bit like his mother. I mean, obviously, I agree with you, because he really shouldn't be doing those things...but it's Tom, you know?
And I like your layout now, I can read your post better. ;DD
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