that the flame we had is burning out
youve dragged me around
hanging on your every word
your every phone call
every smile, every touch
every small connection
suspended in the middle for months
not letting that get to me
even though i want more
because im so so close to everything
everything ive wanted for so long
long before, id be exalted at even your glance
now you claim i have your love
and im ecstatic
but like everything else
i start to bask in it
depend on it
and to punish me
fate takes it away
and the floor slides out from under me
and i hang in thin air for a split second that lasts a lifetime
until i realize my base is gone
and im falling
falling
my support has gone
my floor has departed
and im finished unless i suddenly learn how to fly
yes, thats all a metaphor.
my mom noticed my unhappiness yesterday. i was on the computer and she came over and asked to use it for a minute and so i stood up and turned towards her and i guess i had an unmasked moment because she looked at my face and like, melted and went oh my god honey whats WRONG you look so SAD!" and gave me a huge hug and patted my back. it was funny. i didnt know she was capable of being observant (or caring, for that matter.) i just told her i was fine and laughed, though, because nothing major is actually wrong with me, so why bother making a deal out of it? im just a little sad, thats all. i was so surprised she noticed, though. i gotta give her credit--> shes normally not the greatest or most sympathetic, but she has her moments.
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