this is why i hate him

i told you no
you reached
i told you no
you pulled
i told you no
you forced
closer, closer
now i'm on the floor
laughing but i'm worried
i told you no
prying apart
i'm telling you no
why aren't you listening?
you're so, so close
why aren't you stopping??
i told you no
you look into my eyes
maybe see the fear
because finally
Finally
you pull away
apologize
i hug you
thank you
tell you i love you
because you did that for me
looking back i see
you didn't do anything for me
i thanked you for not raping me?
what the hell was i thinking?