we say we have our best friends, yet we stab them in the back

we try to show some love, its a skill that we lack

ill say. =] lyrics are perfect sometimes. i dont know. sometimes i just dont understand you. youve hung out for the last like, WEEK, and talked to me while you were together, but not once did you ask me to join you. you actually CALLED me once, yes- to ask for someone else's phone number. think about that for a minute. if two of your friends are hanging out and they call you, only for you to find out that they dont want to see you, they want to call someone else but dont have their number, how would you feel? ive talked to you multiple times and not once did you show any interest in hanging out with me. wed said we wanted to go to lunch one day at one of these restaurants by my house, and so i called and asked since you were obviously never going to get around to it. you told me yeah, thatll be fine, youre not doing anything. so i call this morning and you still fail to tell me about these other plans you claim you already had, and say youll call me back soon to tell me whats going on. a few hours later, you decide hey, maybe we should tell her we cant. yeah, thanks. "well, maybe well hang out later this week." uh. no, we wont, because im going on vacation, which is why i wanted to do something today, because i wanted to hang out before i left. you have the audacity to tell me its my own fault because i only gave you a day's notice??? uhm, hello. I WONT BE AVAILABLE after today. im so deeply sorry that i neglected to know that i had to have an APPOINTMENT to hang out with you. sorry i cant fit into your oh so busy schedule. next time ill make sure to call a week beforehand, and every day after to remind you. ill also make sure i figure out what were doing and when and where, so that you dont have to worry yourselves with actually bothering to make an effort to hang out with me. you say on the phone i sound annoyed with you? hmm...i dont know...maybe its because i am?




thats what i wanted to tell you on the phone, but i saved you a headache and didnt. you're welcome.

guilty pleasures

bad music. (jojo, ex-american idols, etc.)
rebecca.
slut clothing. (really short skirts, low cut shirts, fishnets, etc.)
getting hit on.
swimming at night.
organizing.
great grandma bilak.
history channel (but only sometimes)
nail polish and eyeliner.

=\

au contraire, andrea....mine lies quite unconvincingly. (the subconscious quiz)
The Worker
You want only for what you really need. A loyal, honest and hardworking type who requires only the simplest things from life; a home, a partner, a family and a good meal. You are prepared to work for all you earn and these strong principles will see you right. There are some around you that seek to take to take advantage of your generous and selfless ways so be wary not to give so much of yourself that there isnt enough for those that truely matter. But there are also some around you that wish only to have some of your good natured ways rub of on them, and you must learn to judge this difference and act accordingly. You are a good soul, keeping things simple will keep you happy.




only us i swear to god...

wexlackxamity (4:38:27 PM): boola
"cassie andra" (4:38:31 PM): you toola
"cassie andra" (4:39:14 PM): boo + hola?
wexlackxamity (4:39:20 PM): no just boo + la
"cassie andra" (4:39:24 PM): haha
"cassie andra" (4:39:29 PM): still an interesting combination
wexlackxamity (4:39:34 PM): haha
wexlackxamity (4:39:36 PM): okayla
"cassie andra" (4:39:43 PM): lolla
wexlackxamity (4:39:56 PM): the picture upload thing on myspace is not working too wellla
"cassie andra" (4:40:06 PM): that sucksla
wexlackxamity (4:40:33 PM): i knowla
"cassie andra" (4:40:51 PM): what were you trying to uploadla?
"cassie andra" (4:41:15 PM): i french braided my hairla
"cassie andra" (4:41:27 PM): i didn't know i could dola that.
wexlackxamity (4:41:47 PM): hahahala
wexlackxamity (4:41:50 PM): oh wait it worked la
"cassie andra" (4:41:54 PM): goodla
wexlackxamity (4:42:43 PM): go lookla
"cassie andra" (4:42:52 PM): right nowla?
"cassie andra" (4:42:56 PM): my daddys right herela
wexlackxamity (4:42:56 PM): surela?
"cassie andra" (4:42:57 PM): lol
wexlackxamity (4:42:59 PM): oh okayla
"cassie andra" (4:43:08 PM): laterla
"cassie andra" (4:43:09 PM): lol
"cassie andra" (4:43:34 PM): he doesn't care that i have a myspace, but he doesn't like it *shrug*
wexlackxamity (4:43:36 PM): hahhaa i was saying la so much here that when i answered my grandma i added la to the endla hahahahla
wexlackxamity (4:43:38 PM): ohh
wexlackxamity (4:43:43 PM): my parents dont knowla
"cassie andra" (4:43:47 PM): lmao
"cassie andra" (4:43:59 PM): my dad doesn't really care
"cassie andra" (4:44:06 PM): my mom thinks im gonna get raped
wexlackxamity (4:44:11 PM): oh
wexlackxamity (4:44:11 PM): hahaa
wexlackxamity (4:44:12 PM): la
"cassie andra" (4:44:42 PM): lmaola
wexlackxamity (4:46:19 PM): why are you laughingla
"cassie andra" (4:46:28 PM): idkla
"cassie andra" (4:46:36 PM): i hadn't seen what lmaola looked likela
wexlackxamity (4:46:39 PM): ohl
wexlackxamity (4:46:40 PM): a
"cassie andra" (4:46:40 PM): and i wanted to seela
wexlackxamity (4:46:44 PM): gotitla
"cassie andra" (4:46:55 PM): im getting a video ipodla
"cassie andra" (4:46:59 PM): im pumpedla
wexlackxamity (4:48:21 PM): who is buying it la
"cassie andra" (4:48:30 PM): my daddyla
wexlackxamity (4:48:38 PM): i hate you la
wexlackxamity (4:48:40 PM): hahala
wexlackxamity (4:48:41 PM): jkla
"cassie andra" (4:48:41 PM): i knowla
"cassie andra" (4:48:50 PM): cause it got takenla
"cassie andra" (4:48:53 PM): in chicagola
wexlackxamity (4:48:57 PM): ITS RUBBING OFF LA LOOKLA
"cassie andra" (4:49:03 PM): ????
wexlackxamity (4:49:05 PM): wexlackxamity (4:48:45 PM): ohmanla
"cassie andra" (4:49:08 PM): lmao
"cassie andra" (4:49:10 PM): la
wexlackxamity (4:49:11 PM): to ryan williams la
"cassie andra" (4:49:15 PM): hahahahahla
"cassie andra" (4:49:20 PM): thats really funnyla
wexlackxamity (4:49:22 PM): i knowla
wexlackxamity (4:49:25 PM): he didnt notice la
"cassie andra" (4:49:32 PM): lmao how could you not noticela
wexlackxamity (4:49:39 PM): dkla
"cassie andra" (4:49:39 PM): i would be like why did you say lala?
"cassie andra" (4:50:23 PM): that makes no sense
wexlackxamity (4:50:25 PM): haha
wexlackxamity (4:50:26 PM): yeah
wexlackxamity (4:50:26 PM): la
the whole convo went this way. la.

Another Survey

READ THE POST UNDER THIS ONE!

Finish the sentence:

Hi, my name is:
liz

Never in my life have I been:
europe

The one person who can drive me nuts is:
theres a shitload, actually.

High school:
churchill

When I'm nervous:
i annoy people

The last song I listened to was:
something by run kid run. i dont remember what song

If I were to get married right now my best man/maid of honor:
cassie probably

My hair is:
hot

When I was 5:.
i kissed a lot of boys X]

Last Christmas:
i got a camera

I should be..
hanging out with someone

When I look down I see:
a keyboard. the ground. my feet.

The happiest recent event was:
uhhh. i liked hanging out with isaac at the spree. and the sleepover at andreas kicked ass.

If I were a character on 'Friends' I'd be:
rachel, phoebe, or monica.

By this time next year:
ill be driving

My current gripe is:
john

I have a hard time understanding:
john

There's this girl I know that:
is kind of a slut

You know I like you when:
i never stop talking to or about you

If I won an award, the first person I would tell would be:
katie probably

Take my advice:
dont get c sections in third world countries

The thing I want to buy:
NEON SKINNY JEANS AND THOSE PUMPS FROM WET SEAL.

If you visited the place I was born:
youd still be in metro detroit

I plan to visit:
ukraine

If you spent the night at my house:
we'd play guitar hero and maybe not sleep

I'd stop my wedding if:
i realized the guy was cheating on me or had killed a baby

The world could do without:
mosquitos

I'd rather lick the belly of a cockroach than:
what the hell? uhhhm. id rather lick the belly of a cockroach than eat the cockroach.

Most recent thing I've bought myself:
underwear, sunglasses and a dress/coverup thing

Most recent thing someone else bought me:
a peach.

My favorite blonde is:
kate hudson

My favorite brunette is:
isaac selling

My favorite black hair is:
do i know anyone with black hair?

My middle name is..
marie

In the morning I:
wake up

The animals I would like to see flying besides birds are:
ostriches would be pretty rad.

Once, at a bar:
haha. ha. yeah i go to bars all the time. thats me dancing topless on that table.

Last night I was:
stressed

There's this guy I know who:
is a complete idiot and cant tell me why he suddenly stopped calling

If I was an animal I'd be:
iiii dont knowwww. some kind of big fast cat. like a lion or a cheetah.

A better name for me would be:
isabelle

Tomorrow I am:
stil liz

Tonight I am:
going to sleep and hopefully get ice cream

My birthday is:
may 18.

i swear i never meant to let it die

i just dont care about you anymore

EPIPHANY TO THE MAX!!!!!!

wexlackxamity (4:48:49 PM): oh my god

wexlackxamity (4:48:57 PM): john has like, a gf named lanette

wexlackxamity (4:49:21 PM): oh wait

wexlackxamity (4:49:23 PM): thats his mom

wexlackxamity (4:49:24 PM): hahaha

wexlackxamity (4:50:09 PM): hahaaaha

wexlackxamity (4:50:27 PM): at first i was like "wtf?" but then i saw comments from courtney and a picture of her and johns little brother

wexlackxamity (4:50:28 PM): and i went ohhhhh

wexlackxamity (4:50:30 PM): hahahaaa

wexlackxamity (4:50:46 PM): I AM SUCH AN IDIOT I LOVE MYSELF

wexlackxamity (4:51:12 PM): although i just realized im over him because when i thought she was his gf for a second, i wasnt jealous or sad

take your best shot

cause you only get one

i completely forgot to update this after that last post. actually i didnt i just didnt feel like it. but. yeah. so i think johns probably finished. he never called me after that last time. and i think im over it. because today, my conversation with my mom went like this:

mom: whatever happened to john?
me: he just kind of stopped calling and stuff. and when i asked him about it, he pretended he didnt know what i was talking about. whatever, i dont care.

i know im pretty much over it, because that last part didnt feel like a lie. i know what a lie feels like, and when i said that i realized it was the truth, even though i really only said it so shed get off my back. my song lyrics that are the post title for this are true--he had his chance, and now he fucked up. unless, you know, he did it on purpose, which he probably did. but still.

i went to the mall with katie today and EVERYTHING WAS ON SALE IN LIKE EVERY STORE AND IT WAS ALL CUTE AND THE STUFF THAT WASNT ON SALE WAS CUTE AND I HAD HARDLY ANY MONEY AND IM GOING TO EXPLODE.

if the only way you hear whats going on is through my posts, youre probably starting to think im bipolar

so i talked to him on the phone and he wasnt all unresponsive so as long as i take it slowly i think we're going to be okay

and i hope this makes you happy now

that the flame we had is burning out

youve dragged me around
hanging on your every word
your every phone call
every smile, every touch
every small connection
suspended in the middle for months
not letting that get to me
even though i want more
because im so so close to everything
everything ive wanted for so long
long before, id be exalted at even your glance
now you claim i have your love
and im ecstatic
but like everything else
i start to bask in it
depend on it
and to punish me
fate takes it away
and the floor slides out from under me
and i hang in thin air for a split second that lasts a lifetime
until i realize my base is gone
and im falling
falling
my support has gone
my floor has departed
and im finished unless i suddenly learn how to fly



yes, thats all a metaphor.



my mom noticed my unhappiness yesterday. i was on the computer and she came over and asked to use it for a minute and so i stood up and turned towards her and i guess i had an unmasked moment because she looked at my face and like, melted and went oh my god honey whats WRONG you look so SAD!" and gave me a huge hug and patted my back. it was funny. i didnt know she was capable of being observant (or caring, for that matter.) i just told her i was fine and laughed, though, because nothing major is actually wrong with me, so why bother making a deal out of it? im just a little sad, thats all. i was so surprised she noticed, though. i gotta give her credit--> shes normally not the greatest or most sympathetic, but she has her moments.

its not what you said

its just the way you said it

so ive decided that we should all post a list of our favorite songs or songs we think everyone should hear (i chose 50 because i cant make a list with less X]. idk. it sounds fun. and we can like, expose ourselves to other peoples music tastes. see what we have in common, see what other people listen to that we dont or have never heard of. things like that. heres mine.
1. down and out - the academy is...
2. father part the clouds in the sky - akissforjersey
3. you oughta know - alanis morissette
4. this conversation is over - alesana
5. runaways - anberlin
6. dont be so hard - the audition
7. anything but ordinary - avril
8. why 6 is afraid of 7 - before their eyes
9. dont fear the reaper - blue oyster cult
10. my fist, your mouth, her scars - bullet for my valentine
11. the thin red line - a change of pace
12. love song - the cure
13. you should have killed me when you had the chance - a day to remember
14. superman - eminem
15. without me - eminem
16. missing - evanescence
17. anywhere - evanescence
18. the ransom - escape the fate
19. cry - faith hill
20. hemmorhage (in my hands) - fuel
21. iris - goo goo dolls
22. pain - jimmy eat world
23. sarah - kyo
24. in the end - linkin park
25. back 2 good - matchbox 20
26. if you wanted a song written about you, all you had to do was ask - mayday parade
27. i hate jimmy page - mindless self indulgence
28. starlight - muse
29. this is how i disappear - my chemical romance
30. the sharpest lives - my chemical romance
31. torn - natalie imbruglia
32. pressure - paramore
33. let the flames begin - paramore
34. your guardian angel - the red jumpsuit apparatus
35. prayer of the refugee - rise against
36. fallen - sarah mclachlan
37. a walk through hell - say anything
38. ambulance chaser - search the city
39. son of a gun - search the city
40. detroit was built on secrets - search the city
41. the rescue - search the city
42. XOXOXO - secret and whisper
43. broken - seether ft. amy lee
44. worlds apart - silverstein
45. my heroine (acoustic) - silverstein
46. i knew i should have worn red - the sophomore attempt
47. anthem of our dying day - story of the year
48. over and over - three days grace
49. the rumour - you me at six
50. the kill - 30 seconds to mars


phew. that took a long time to type. =]

if i had just one tear running down your cheek

Maybe I could cope
Maybe I'd get some sleep

If I had just one
Moment at your expense
Maybe all my misery
Would be well spent
Could you cry a little
Lie just a little
Pretend that your feeling
A little more pain
I gave now I'm wanting
Something in return
So cry just a little for me
If your love could be caged, honey
I would hold the key A
nd conceal it underneath the pile of lies you handed me
And you'd hunt and those lies
They'd be all you'd ever find
And that'd be all you'd have to know
For me to be fine
And you'd cry a little
Die just a little
And baby I would feel
Just a little less pain
I gave now I'm wanting
Something in return
So cry just a little for me


when some girls get depressed or sad or lonely or need to feel pretty, they buy shoes. i buy homecoming and prom dresses. its hot pink, floor length, and was 17 dollars at parisian. i love it. it makes me look pretty. thta brings my collection of homecoming dresses (though this one is kind of prom-y as well) up to 5 - only one have i used. jesus im pathetic. but its ok. i sat around watching scrubs season one all over again and by the time i got halfway through the first disc i realized i needed to stop feeling sorry for myself so i made a playlist of songs by strong women in which they dont need men. over 40 songs, i listened to it all the way through and it took about 2 1/2 hours. 2 1/2 hours of just sitting on my bed with my eyes closed, occassionally writing down lyrics in my lyrics notebook, just feeling empowered and i needed that so much.

1. almost lover - a fine frenzy ( i know this one isnt too i-dont-need-men-y but it fit the feeling)
2. before he cheats - carrie underwood
3. behind these hazel eyes - kelly clarkson
4. big girls dont cry - fergie
5. call me when youre sober - evanescence
6. colors of the wind - pocahontas
7. come clean - hilary duff
8. CRY - FAITH HILL
9. everybodys fool - evanescence
10. fergalicious - fergie
11. fighter - christina aguilera
12. foundations - kate nash
13. girl next door - saving jane
14. hear me - kelly clarkson
15. heartbreaker - pat benatar
16. hit me with your best shot - pat benatar
17. independent women pt. 1 - destinys child
18. invincible - pat benatar
19. irreplaceable - beyonce
20. just like a pill - p!nk
21. love is a battlefield - pat benatar
22. merry happy - kate nash
23. miss independent - kelly clarkson
24. mouthwash - kate nash
25. my happy ending - avril lavigne
26. the nicest thing - kate nash
27. no more (baby im a do right) - 3LW
28. nobody's fool - avril lavigne
29. objection(tango) - shakira
30. respect - aretha franklin
31. since U been gone - kelly clarkson
32. smile - lily allen
33. stronger - britney spears
34. survivor - destinys child
35. thats what you get - paramore
36. too little too late - jojo
37. too much to ask - avril lavigne
38. torn - natalie imbruglia
39. u + ur hand - p!nk
40. unbreakable - fireflight
41. you oughta know - alanis morissette
42. 4 in the morning - gwen stefani
43. you learn - alanis morissette
44. hollaback girl - gwen stefani
45. beautiful - christina aguilera
46. fallen - sarah mclachlan


thats my playlist.


fuck the male population.

scroll past the survey. theres new posts there.

katies right. a survey can count as a post.

Raaandom Survey! Many ?s..some deep!
..::Random Things::..
What is your favorite smiley::	X]
What are you listening to::	nothing at the moment, i was listening to say anything a while ago
If you had one wish for anything, what would it be::	soul mate
If the world were about to end, what would be something you would do::	sex
If you knew your crush were dying, would it be worth tellin ur feelings?:	yes
Whats you fav AdultSwim show?:	uhhh i dont watch adultswim so idk
Be honest, do you love someone?:	yes
Be honest, which one of your friends can you not stand?:	brad or danny
Best friends?:	john alexandra tam cassie andrea katie ryan
Would you put a dying baby out of its misery?:	oh god i dont know
Would you just rather die if you had no limbs?:	yes
Your fav gum?:	orbit...cinnamint or spearmint or bubblemint or mint mojito or raspberry mint
Is your mom mean?:	a lot of the time
Do you like mexicans?:	no more or less than any other ethnicity
..::Love::..
Is there someone special?:	yes
Are they everything?:	yes
Would you cheat on them for 1Mill?:	no, actually
Uh. Random. Do you love Erkel?:	hell yes
RANDOM
Do you love Panic at The Disco?:	love, nah.
Your fav song by them?:	i really only know the one
Do you think they are gay?:	no
Are you racist?:	yes
What did your last text from a crush say?:	dont text
What did you last text TO a crush say?:	i still dont text
Have you ever cut yourself?:	kind of
WOuld it be fun to ubducted by aliens?:	no
If you could change one thing bout yourself?:	eek. theres a lot.
How much do u talk to your crush?:	a lot
Do they know you like them?:	yes
Do they feel the same?:	yes
Are you sure?:	no
Whats on TV?:	desperate housewives and scrubs
Is it Nine in The Afternoon?:	uhm. what?
Is Myspace overrated?:	yes
How long is long enough?:	an hour
What do you think is in ablack hole?:	paradise
Do Iraqis scare you?:	no
Why not, or why?:	because why are they any worse than iranians?
Would you rather be tortured or have to burn to death?:	my biggest fear is being burned alive, so..tortured.
Vanilla or Strawberry?:	vanilla
Dog or Turtle?:	dog
Blue eyes or green?:	green
Make a wish!:	i wish hed get over his relationshipaphobia
Will it come true?:	hopefully
Are you parents divorced?:	no
What happened?:	well you see its a long story. read the other posts.
Is summer love the best?:	no
Do you believe in love at 1st sight?:	yeah
Been on a blind date?:	no
Are you gay?:	no
Do you wear contacts?:	no
Do you like chinese food?:	hell yes
Ever drank?:	yea
whats the 1st thing you notice bout the opposite sex?:	hair
Whats so special bout your crush?:	hes amazing
Would you spill you guts to them for a dare?:	nah, i do it daily
Makeout with them for a dare?:	THEYRE THE PERSON IM OBSESSED WITH, WHAT THE HELL KIND OF QUESTION IS THAT.
Are rocks pretty?:	mhm =]
Do you like lemonade?:	mhm
Do you want an afro?:	uhm. no
Are you rich?:	no
Is abercrombie and fitch overrated?:	was this survey custom made for me? hell yes
Do you like GH?:	does that mean guitar hero? yes. yes i do.
What would you do if cell phones didnt exist?:	die
Do you remember The Weekenders?:	no
Are you bored?:	yea
Whats you usual mood?:	insane
Do you have any mental illnesses?:	im not sure, if i do then i wouldnt know cuz id be crazy
Is ur crush impossible to get?:	okay why so many crush related questions?
Are you trying?:	yes
What is your favorite song?:	detroit was built on secrets by search the city...or broken by amy lee and seether...or the rescue, son of a gun or ambulance chaser by search the city...
Do you like rock?:	yes
Are you hot?:	fuck yeah
Do you wear short shorts?:	yeah
Do you give your # out randomly?:	if im asked for it
Ever been in trouble with the po-po?:	nah
Ever snuck out?:	during the day...X]
Ever almost been killed?:	nope
Ever almost killed yourself?:	nope
Are you suicidal?:	nope
..::Top 8::..
1.:	cassie
2.:	alexandra
3.:	tam
4.:	katie
5.:	andrea
6.:	john
7.:	ryan
8.:	rachel
Ever loved 4?:	as a friend
Been to a party with 8?:	nope
Ever kiss 6?:	almost
Ever cuss out 1?:	probably
Ever kicked 4?:	probably
Ever madeout with 3?:	noope
Is 2 nice?:	nicest person i know
Is 7 a bff?:	yes
..::List a song these words remind you of::..
Coke:::	cocaine and toupees by msi
Summer:::	kissed a girl
Shy:::	okay really, nothing.
Ill:::	ditto.
Closet:::	ditttttoooo.
Love:::	your guardian angel by red jumpsuit apparatus
..::Basic::..
Your eyes?:	hazel. small.
Your hair?:	brown. needs to be rechoppied.
Are you tall?:	yeah
What cell phone do you have??:	some att cool phone that i love a lot
Where do you live?:	here
..::?::..
3 things that scare you:	why is there a blank here?
1:	being burned alive
2:	being abandoned by people i love
3:	ghosts
7 Things you love about you crush/boyfriend/girlfriend:
1:	pass
2:	pass
3:	pass
4:	pass
5:	pass
6:	pass
7:	pass

confusion to the max

so maybe its all okay?

maybe if my heart stops beating it wont hurt this much

and never again will i have to answer to anyone

oh, have you decided to bestow on me the honor of speaking to me? oh, wait, no. you're probably just bored and waiting until you can find something better to do. why not just continue not talking to me like you started on sunday? what the hell is up with you, anyways? why bother calling me just to sit there in silence and not answer my questions? i feel unloved right now by you. i need reassurance. you used to call me 15095094805948543 times a day, starting when you got up in the morning. now it's 1:00, you still havent called. DO you love me anymore? i dont want to be all overly emotional and paranoid, but that's what it seems like. it seems like you couldnt care less if you talk to me. couldnt care less if you see me. do you miss me? did you miss me in this last week when you havent seen me, barely talked to me? i miss you. why the hell has it suddenly become unrequited?